7 Quotes from Mother Theresa to help you through your separation

Do you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders? Don’t worry. Your feelings are not surprising; bearing in mind your relationship has come to an end.

Relationship breakdowns are emotionally traumatic times. You will feel like you have stepped onto a giant roller coaster and no one has told you how to get off.

We want you to remember though, this will end one day (hopefully soon). You will move on. Your life will get better.

To help you on your journey of healing and self-discovery it might pay to remember some of Mother Theresa’s motivational quotes. Mother Theresa became known for her humanitarian work in India where she helped the poor and starving.

  1. ‘Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love’.

Have you noticed how you instantly feel better when someone smiles at you? Try and smile more often. Smile at yourself in the mirror; smile at the stranger you walk past in the street and the shopkeeper at the grocery store. If you smile more you will start to feel better.

  1. ‘The future is so much in the hands of God, I find it much more easy to accept today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not come and I have only today.’

It does not matter if you are a believer or not. What matters is that you should not waste your time and energy on living in the past. You will not be able to move on with your life if you do not let go off the past. Enjoy today. Focus your energy on today. Make the most of it and start to grow.

  1. ‘We fear the future because we are wasting the today.’

After separation it can be daunting to face the future on your own. You long for the security of someone to hold your hand, share life’s adventures with you. But that someone is gone. Stop thinking about tomorrow. Take each day as it comes. You will surprise yourself how strong you really are. By focusing on today you will grow and prosper and before you know it, you will have met someone else, someone who appreciates you and wants to be with you.

  1. ‘Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the action that we do.’

Approaching tasks with love makes those tasks more enjoyable. There will be tasks you will not approach with love and it is those things you should eliminate from your life. Don’t hang onto anger. Let it go. Give in to love. Look around you, there are still plenty of people in your life who love you and support you. Return their love and support by giving back with love and support.

  1. ‘Do ordinary things with extraordinary love.’

No matter how bad things seem there are always people worse off than us. Find someone needy to give them a hand. Make a donation, volunteer at your local op shop or soup kitchen. Giving, when we ourselves feel down, is a great gift and will help you feel better.

  1. ‘When you don’t have anything, then you have everything.’

In today’s world we seem obsessed with possessions. The more we have the better we will feel. It is however the complete opposite. If you have no material possession but a life filled with love, you will be rich. Don’t mourn the possessions you have lost, embrace what love you have left (family, friends).

  1. If you judge people, you have not time to love them.’

After the break down of your relationship it can be tempting to run down your ex and everyone who associates with them, their family, friends and so on. The negativity spirals out of control and drags you down.

Stop judging anyone and everyone. Accept people are all different. Eliminate contract with negative people and surround yourself with those who love and accept you for what you are.

During the emotional time of separation it can be difficult to remember what is important in life, to love and be loved. Look around, there are still plenty of people who love and respect you. Spend time with them and give back the love they give you.

It won’t be long before your separation is but a memory and you will have moved on.

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7 Things You Should Know About Your Family Law Dispute Before You Commence Proceedings in the Family Court

Separations are highly emotional times and you need to work out a property settlement that works for you.

Ok, you have separated and despite your best efforts it is no longer amicable between the two of you. Communication is toxic. Both of you have hired a lawyer

(a really expensive one) and viscous correspondence is being traded between the two to them. Your last bill has you choke on your morning coffee. You feel like you are going nowhere. In fact bashing your head against a brick wall seems a real option to you right now.

Your lawyer has suggested you go to court. You are not sure this will solve anything. And of course your legal fees will keep going up.

You are right to question this next step.

Here is a list of 7 things you must know before you decide to agree to commence proceedings in your property dispute.

  1. Going to Court is costly. It is not unusual to be looking at spending at least $5,000 – $10,000 to start proceedings. Some lawyers may be able to do it cheaper, but this is the range. And remember, this is to start proceedings. It may not even cover your lawyer or barrister appearing with you at the first court date.
  2. Once you are at Court your legal fees will continue to soar like a jumbo jet taking off. Each time you have another court date you are looking at spending thousands of dollars. As your matter progresses through the Court system there will be times when your lawyer suggests you hire a barrister. Barristers are specialized lawyers who go to Court. It is always difficult for clients to understand that when you hire a barrister the lawyer will also come along, which means you will be paying for two people to be at Court with you. It pays to remember, in the legal world there is no two for one prize.
  3. Court is not fast. Matters can take anywhere from 12 months to two years before they are finalized. American television has much to answer for. Many clients cannot understand that cases do not get sorted on their first court date, like they do on television. Once your case is started there will be multiple court dates, from the first court date to a conciliation conference to more mentions and eventually a final hearing date.
  4. Nothing much happens on the first return date. Clients often come to court on that first date expecting the Judge to have read their material and make a decision. This is not the case. On the first return date the Judge will find out what the matter is about (by asking the lawyers) and see where it needs to go. And your case will not be the only case listed before the Judge. List days are very full days, with usually at least fifty or so matters before the Judge.
  5. Court is stressful. Hardly anyone likes the idea of going to Court. It is stressful. Very personal aspects of your life will be discussed in a public forum. This can be intimidating and demeaning. People often approach Court full of bravado, busting to tell their side of the story. However, when it actually comes to the crunch and they need to get in the witness box, courage deserts them. Being a witness is not a walk in the park. It is not something you would want to do voluntarily.
  6. You may not get the outcome you are after. Going to Court means a third party will make a decision about your property or children. This may not be a good thing. Being creative in your negotiations may get you a better outcome than getting the Judge to make a decision. A Judge will not be interested that one of you wants to try and keep the former matrimonial home. It is quite usual for the Judge to make orders to sell property and proceeds be divided a particular way.
  7. Once you are at Court a strict timetable will have to be followed. You can no longer ignore the case. The matter will proceed through the Court system with a view to be finalized. Whilst it can take time, it will move toward a final hearing.

Unfortunately, some matters need to go to Court for parties to move forward and be of a mind to settle the case. And of course some cases do not settle and need the final hearing date. Those however are in the minority. Most cases settle at some point in time during their time at Court.

If your case has reached a stale mate it might be due to you or your ex not being in the right frame of mind to settle. Before you go to Court you might want to try mediation. A solution reached by both of you, even if it is one you are not 100% happy about, may be better than a Judge imposed decision after you have spent forty or fifty thousand dollars (or more).

Remember to get legal advice for your particular family law problem. This is a general article only.

 

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Read more about the Family Law system in the novel Just and Equitable, which follows Melvin Goodheart through his separation (a humorous look at Australian Family Law).

40 Powerful Mantras to Help you Think Positive

A list of 40 powerful mantras to help anyone think positive to use on a daily basis.

Let’s face it, separating from your spouse sucks, particularly if you did not initiate the separation. You feel like Linus when his blanket gets taken off him. You want your blanket back. You want life to go back to the way it was, a time when you were happy. But this won’t happen.

With things looking bleak all around you, you need to do something. It is time to embrace the change and start getting out of the victim mode.

Here are 40 mantras to help you think positive:

  1. I will forgive myself and get rid of negative thoughts.
  2. I am a good person.
  3. I am a caring person.
  4. I have achieved a lot in my life.
  5. I will bounce back from this.
  6. I will stop comparing myself to others.
  7. I am grateful for what I have.
  8. I am a beautiful person.
  9. I will be a stronger person for getting through the struggle.
  10. I will stop looking over the fence where the grass appears greener and start fertilizing my own patch of dirt.
  11. I am in charge of my life.
  12. I will make positive choices.
  13. I will make decisions that are in my interest.
  14. I will acknowledge my feelings and then focus on all the good things I have in life.
  15. I will embrace the change I am faced with and make the most of it.
  16. It is better to move on from something no longer working than staying with something that is broken.
  17. There are no failures, only opportunities to learn from.
  18. I will learn from mistakes and try again.
  19. Successful people are productive people. I will be productive.
  20. I will not let go of my dreams merely because others cannot see the importance of them. I will dream.
  21. I will start working toward my dreams today.
  22. I will start moving today. Moving makes sure I’m not stuck in a rut.
  23. As long as I believe it will be all right. I will believe
  24. I will light a candle to keep the glimmer flickering within.
  25. I will not give up on myself.
  26. I believe I can change my life.
  27. I am not a victim. I am a human being. I am important.
  28. I will stop worrying and approach situations with the knowledge it will work out.
  29. I don’t always have to be right to be happy.
  30. If things get tough I will get tougher.
  31. I will have faith things will work out.
  32. I will try new things in life.
  33. I will face challenges head on.
  34. I will focus on beauty and magnificence around me during the day.
  35. I will say I can more often.
  36. I will work through my struggle and be successful.
  37. I will smile instead of frown.
  38. I will laugh and find joy in things.
  39. I will grow as a person and learn from mistakes.
  40. I will listen to Yoda’s principle: ‘Do. Don’t do. There is no try.’ I will do.

Have a special mantra to help you think positive? Drop us a line or let us know below what it is. We’d love to hear from you.

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And don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers from time to time.